WHAT IF PIZZA WORKED LIKE CREDIT CARDS?
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I'm just here for a slice of pepperoni.
That'll be three dollars please.
If you give me $15 I'll give you a whole pizza Then I'll take a whole pizza! You buy a whole bunch of pizzas I'll give you an airplane ticket.
How many pizzas? Mmm.
like a thousand pizzas.
Oh I only need 1 pizza.
Ah would you like to add your wife to your pizza account? No.
I don't have a wife.
But here's $15.
Oh don't pay me $15 now.
Pay me $25 a week from now.
I'm not going to give you $25 next week for a $15 pizza.
THEN I'LL SUE YOU! You'll sue me? That's right! For how much? $31 You're gonna sue me for $31? If you can't pay me $31 then I'll settle for 7 You're gonna sue me for $31 For a $15 pizza.
But if I can't pay that $31 You'll take $7 That's right.
Then I'm only going to pay you $7 Oh ha then you can't buy pizza for 10 years Why not? Because it'll go on your pizza report I don't have a pizza report Oh yeah you do got a pizza report and you should be happy I'm even speaking to you because it's only at 590! You have to help! I think I got hacked and somebody's been using my pizza! I'm sorry ma'am you're going to have to hold.
I'm with a customer right now.
Hello? It's your manager I know.
Yeah uh I will pay you $25 next week No but I have the cash right now Sorry hold on.
(that's my manager again) I just told you I was going to pay you the money! No it's my pizza! What's going on with that man? He lost his job.
We have to repossess his pizza.
I'm gonna give you $15 Just give me a pizza.
(whispering) Errrr sorry dude.
You don't qualify for pizza.
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